Buckets of Blessings

So, it's Friday, I guess. DISCLAIMER: This is NOT a complaint, but I really wouldn't know it was Friday if I hadn't looked at a calendar or seen all those TGIF memes slathered all over Facebook by the "regular job" folks who still feel the precious release of a weekend pass. When you work for yourself, the days tend to blend together. Then again, I can drink the whole pot of coffee without anyone in the office getting jealous about it, I can opt to work in my pajamas and listen to episodes of Hoarders, Newhart, and M.A.S.H. in the background while I toil away with those semicolons and verb tense mix-ups, and I can even fire myself if the need arises, so I guess I shouldn't whine about the day-blurring.

This week has been a bit of a mind-numbed lull. I still have much catching up to do on projects, finances, etc., and of course I'm working on those, but I've also been recuperating from last week, trying to give myself a bit of a break mentally and going to bed before the wee hours to allow myself some time to process some grief and pain. I realize that in our Western culture, unlike some other cultures in the world, we're supposed to treat bereavement as nothing more than a three-day weekend and get over it and back to real life, but I lost my Mom, and I have allowed myself the time I have needed to mourn her, celebrate her, mentally/emotionally deal with it, and ease back "into the saddle," as one of my sweet clientele so aptly put it a couple days ago. I am happy to be getting back to normal, though I'm not sure what that really means in my relatively odd but uneventful life.

That said, there are a few things Mom's passing have changed within me, some sparks to improve, and I am sure she would want it that way. For one, I am trying to simplify and better organize my life. I will never, ever, ever, ever be even one shred as amazingly organized and on top of things as my mom was or my little sister is (You shame me, Libby! Stop being so great! lol), but I am making some changes that I think will help. These will take time, and I have many things to work out, but ultimately, I'd rather live than merely exist, and getting things in order will allow me a little wiggle room for that.

My little sister with our back-forty harvest.

Another thing I need to do is something I'm not so great at: making sure to see and be grateful for even the smallest of blessings. Yesterday, a glance out our kitchen window by Cissy had her excitedly announcing to me that there was a very large wild blackberry bush out there in an old tree stump, one we've never seen before. I had to smile; when we were kids, we would often find an old five-gallon bucket from the barn, slather ourselves with bug spray, actually put on some shoes, and tromp back to Grandpa Miesse's fence row around the "back forty" to pick blackberries. Of course, in that world of ours, before all the scared-of-everything, antibacterial nonsense our kids live with today, we didn't even bother to wash them off, except for maybe a cursory run under the old garden hose we also drank out of and used to wash off our muddy feet. We ate those berries right out of the dirty old barn bucket, and my countless cousins and I all lived. Imagine that! But I digress...

Thursday evening crop! God is the best gardener!

So...Cissy and I took a small Tupperware and headed out to the tree trunk blackberry bush last evening and picked a whole pint-plus of those yummy purple treats. Fearing thorns, spiders, and a possible serpent of any size, we looked like total dorks, as we wore boots/hiking shoes and even thin coats in the 90-degree temps. At 75 calories a cup, it was the best snack while we watched an Adam Sandler movie. (Cissy has some odd crush on him. Blech!) Not only that, but all they cost us was a little energy, some purple stains on our fingers (which my kid observed looked like we "strangled a Smurf"), a few brave encounters with some horror film-sized daddy long legs, and some tiny thorn pricks.We didn't go to the amphitheater last night to see the dance company because we decided to eat blackberries and watch a movie instead, but we had a great time picking them and a better time eating them, and what a blessing it was!

I also need to start realizing that God is well aware of my needs but often has His own timing and ways for fulfilling them. My gas bill and some money I owe to some dear people I care about has been the scourge of my week. Every cent I've earned this week has been quickly cybered over to Columbia Gas, and today, when the bill is due, I am still a laughable few dollars short but short nonetheless. I called Columbia today and spoke with a sweet lady named Amy, who assured me that I have a few days. I lost hours and hours of sleep last night over this, fearing the worst and Chicken Littling again, only to discover that God has it all worked out and will not let His children be left begging for...uh...gas? I have come to realize that many of us are failing to practice what we preach every time we spend money that says "In God we trust." I need to do a better job of trusting God to provide that money that - surprisingly - still bears His name! (Sadly, I doubt that will last long, folks, so appreciate it while you can. Whether or not His name is on it, it's all still His anyway.)

I thought of and posted a humorous (yet quite true) prayer on Facebook today, and it's rather relevant: "Dear Lord: Please stretch my hours and my dollars and shrink my waistline. And thank You for never getting our prayers backward. Amen." I am facing bills. I am in need of long hours to complete my work. And this weekend, I will likely be faced with the temptation of cake and/or deliciously naughty foods at a wedding shower for one of my beautiful cuzzies. But, just as Mommy would have wanted, I'm going to try to remember that no matter what I'm facing, God is already there, ready to bless us in big and small ways and to help me get organized and simplify!